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I wonder…

When will I ever stop loving… you.

How can you still dwell here?

After all these years.

and space in between

In mind, frequently.

Don’t flatter.

I still do me

I don’t loath everyday like I used to

I drowned bad about you

never thought I’d be privy to a life absent of you

Thank God a bitch grew anew

Entrusted confidants resist

Watching me move aloof

They never seen a bitch down like that

I hoed so much after trying to put myself back

In tact

Yet and Still I fell

It took years to align on…

I Think of HER often

Of that night even

I lay in bed asleep and awake

Entrapped in a night terror I hadn’t experienced in years

The looming of smoke

Permeating through my closet

As a bubble slowly revealed its body

I laid there stuck from the effects of the terror

And yet intrigued by what was being revealed

As It crept out of the double doors

Slowly rising

It crossed above them

And found its way to the wall

As the smoke resided

A human began to form

First a head

Wrapped in a white cloth

A face Chocolate as night

A Body stacked and sitting the wall

SHE looked at me.

SHE didn’t speak a word.

I wasn’t afraid.

I felt her peace and safety.

SHE came with premonition and prophecy

Yet, words were never spoken

SHE sat the wall

And pierced me with warm eyes

Ancestor or God

SHE pulled rank to see me

Unbeknownst in that moment

I’d already conceived

I often wonder if that was foreshadowing

SHE trying to inform me of legacy

Of hardships being temporary

Because a new life was beginning

I wonder if SHE will return

If I’ll ever need HER in flesh again

I wonder when we’ll meet

I know eventually we will

As life would have it we meet here

When we really owed us more

I have a problem with running

I thought love was what I was chasing

You know I had these problems though

I had many roots to pull

You felt compelled to meet me

Until my darkness became too heavy

I did understand the retract

It was a warranted react

But my body was not my own

I wish you could see how all was lost on me

I realized our root was hollow

That was a hard pill to swallow

A body beside mine didn’t know…


I just want to get my thoughts off.

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